174125

Joke of the Day

"What does Colonel Mustard's Mexican maid call him? *(Phonetically-ish)* Mis'ser Dijon."

"Just got an email from dominoes said ""easy and delicious"" they sure know how to talk to a single guy!"

"According to the principle of the sandwich, if you put butter on both sides the sandwich will hang in the air."

"Why shouldn't you play against Adolf Hitler in Madden? Because he always blitzes."

"My wife's cooking is so bad.... My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food."

"Did you hear Justin Timberlake is making a new song based on Oscar Pistorious? It's called Cry Me A Reeva"

"why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered 6 offender"

"Excuse me, ma'am. Your car doesn't make you invisible, but I am super impressed by how far you just got your finger up your nose."

"What do you call a well-behaved Indian takeaway? A proppadom"

"My mom recently figured out that the best way to get me to call her back right away is to text me that someone died but not tell me who."