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Joke of the Day

"Pinterest could've been an amazing dating site. If the project ideas came with men to do them, there wouldn't be a single cat lady left."

"Can't wait till bin Laden slips up and checks-in on Foursquare."

"I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years... .... so her dad was very surprised when I proposed. He had no idea I was gay."

"*helps wife get toddler in his high chair* wife: That's a new shirt, let's put a bib on you me [wearing a bib] This is ridiculous"

"[OC] Why did the mortgage broker go out of business? Because he lost interest."

"My girlfriend just walked in and called me g@y. If my nails weren't drying I swear to God..."

"If a caveman from the Paleolithic era saw you turn down a cupcake because youre on the ""Paleo Diet,"" he'd kill you with a sharpened seashell"

"Never trust a vegetarian who eats animal crackers"

"I had a race with an Asian today... It was a Thai"

"My girlfriend is like Windows... She's 10."