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Joke of the Day

"I had a race with an Asian today... It was a Thai"

"What saddens me is that I'll never be able to murder anyone who uses ""Not with that attitude"" as a counterargument to negativity."

"If I were a piano... ...I'd make sure my life ends on a high note."

"George Washington's underage brother got into taverns by using the dollar as a fake ID."

"I can't stand anti-semitic jokes Anne Frankly, I think no one should support them."

"Can't decide if I should start this laundry or fake my own death."

"I saw a fat kid sitting on a seesaw all by himself. I stopped and waited for another kid to fall from the sky. I left disappointed."

"What do you call four white guys in a band? The 4Skins"

"My girlfriend's dad called me a pedophile just because I'm 34 and she's 23... ...he totally ruined our 10 year anniversary."

"Never trust an anti-aging lotion that has an expiry date."