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Joke of the Day

"I remember directing a play and I thought I'd spice it up a bit by adding a lesbian shower scene... Some say I'm the fresh and bold thing that theatre needs, others that I ruined the nativity."

"When my robot left me for Africa I had to ask why. ""Why are you moving there?"" ""Because! Botswana! Duh"""

"*to commander* Don't say anything too loud sir I suspect one of our men may be a plant *conspicuous tree in admiral uniform starts to sweat*"

"What will Putin be having for Thanksgiving dinner? Turkey."

"Are you saying that if I shoot you with a pistol, you won't get hurt? Why don't you give it a shot?"

"*beats dead horse* *kills two birds with 1 stone* *lets cat out of bag* *takes bull by horns* *breaks camels back* *gets kicked out of zoo*"

"Why are terrorists so mean? Because they don't like Nice people."

"Haircut/Sex Correlation Jesus Joke I got that I looked like Jesus a lot when I had longer hair. It's a shame because I got a haircut and have been getting nailed less than the messiah lately."

"I liked you better before we met."

"Talking to my friend who started watching a new anime makes me feel like a German on D-Day The ships just keep coming."