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Joke of the Day

"I love it when I run into people I know at my psychiatrist's office... Because I'm like, ""Hey, you're crazy too? Cool."""

"I met Jesus once but he was kind of a dick He was all ""holier-than-thou"""

"How many Italians can you fit in a bathtub? Don'tworryaboutit."

"Why was the actor detained by airport security? He said he was in town to shoot a pilot."

"My aunt found a lump below her left breast recently. It was my penis."

"[raises hand in math class] HOW DO PEOPLE WHO WORK AT THE SPAM CORPORATION KNOW WHEN THEY'RE GETTING UNSOLICITED EMAIL?"

"Did you hear about the man from the experimental group that was arrested? He was out of control."

"I just love that new Pope smell."

"How many Dornishmen does it take to shoe a horse? Nine. One to do the shoeing, and eight to lift up the horse!"

"I just got done watching the Lego Movie with my daughter. The premise is so amazing... It makes me wonder why the Mega Blocks movie fell apart."