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Joke of the Day

"HER: You almost ready to go to my mothers? ME: *looking out window wondering if the jump will only break a leg & not kill me* Be right down."

"Time = Money because you SPEND it!"

"You look like a before picture."

"Gandolf here, TIFU by letting the Seahawks pass"

"Life's like a box of chocolate, it doesn't last very long for fat people."

"What do you call a pig that can't be seen? Hamouflage"

"I have sexdaily I mean, I have dyslexia"

"Saw a FB group called 'I hate rapists'. *Phew* glad we solved that problem. Anything else we need to tackle while I've got the keyboard out?"

"Why was the dolphin sad? Because it didn't know it's porpoise in life. Thank you. Thank you."

"What is a ducks drug of choice? Quack."