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Joke of the Day

"HER: You almost ready to go to my mothers? ME: *looking out window wondering if the jump will only break a leg & not kill me* Be right down."

"Having mutual friends with someone does not mean you should add them on Facebook. It's like a stranger knocking on your door and saying, ""Hey we both know Mike, John, and Sara. You mind if I come in?"

"Berlin 1945 Ten Soviet soldiers are lining up to rape a German woman. She keeps screaming ""Nein!Nein!"" So one of them left."

"Ke$ha looks like a character I would select in Mortal Kombat"

"If you ask your hair dresser for the Zooey Deschanel... You're really just getting more bang for your buck."

"I try to be a good sport, but sometimes I'm badminton."

"Did you hear about the beef jerky manufacturer who was convicted of fraud? It was a cut and dry case."

"It's not about how she looks, it's all about how she looks at you."

"I was kicked out of the military because I got gonorrhea It was a dishonorable discharge"

"Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans. Credit to my younger brother on this one"