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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who died while digging a hole for a coffin? It was a grave excavation."

"What are people afraid of puns called? Homophonic I'm sorry..."

"What do people wear when they go to a new planet? Terraformal wear."

"Back in my day... You could go into a corner store with a dollar and come out with two Cokes, three candy bars, and a magazine. Now, fucking security cameras everywhere."

"A guy at work calls me ""Partner"" and another guy calls me ""Chief"". Apparently we're playing Cowboys and Indians and I'm a double agent."

"I'm going to hell. Q: whats the hardest part about cooking a vegetable A: getting the wheelchair into the oven edit: formating"

"Autoerrection has saved my life"

"What's black and white and red all over? Battleship Potemkin"

"As of Nov 9, 2016, what will be the 2nd most populous state in America? Catatonic"

"Grim Reaper: You know why I'm here. Me: Heavy drinking? Unhealthy diet? Texting and driving? GR: You should've forwarded that chain email."