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Joke of the Day

"Aww, c'mon! Let me crack your baby's knuckles."

"What do you call a train with no motivation A Loco-no-motive"

"Parent pro tip: Beware of the child who cleans their room without being prompted. They are about to ask to borrow money."

"""It's going to be amazing!"" No, it's not."

"Pretty cool how money could literally solve all my problems."

"My baby's sick. We used rectal thermometer on him & he didn't even mind. Looks like we might have a little choreographer on our hands."

"I really like the concept of train tickets. It's an idea I could get onboard with."

"I wanted to be a pilot in the air force But they said I didn't have the right altitude."

"I like my women like I like my bread.... Brown and with nuts"

"Seeing how Iron Man and Batman are only really smart and super rich, I'm really disappointed with Bill Gates."