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Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid, I was told ""If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."" For the first seven years of my life everyone thought I was a deaf-mute."

"There are Three Types of People in this World Those who can count, and those who can't."

"The entire plot of spiderman A teenage boy finds out he can shoot white stuff out his body"

"[me as a cop] Me: Mrs Hill? Woman: yes Me: it's Ms Hill now Woman: huh Me: ur husbands dead Woman: h-how? Me [hand on her shoulder]: he died"

"Breaking News!: Two teens cut cocks off while high on meth. Back in my day we did not need meth. We would just cut our cocks off."

"Hello? Is the Communist Party here? Delete my subscription. I just won the lottery."

"Just set my alarm for 6AM. This is going to be hilarious if it actually works."

"Why are Nazis such bad DJs? Because they dont get the difference between 33 and 45."

"WHAT DO YOU CALL A FAKE NOODLE? AN IMPASTA."

"A man visits the doctor. The doctor says to the man: ""I'm really sorry, but I have to tell you you got AIDS and alzheimers disease."" To which the man answers: ""Phew, Im just glad it's not AIDS..."""