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Joke of the Day

"- What's your cell phone? - iPhone. - No, I meant the number. - It's a 6. - No, to contact you. - I don't use it for that."

"How are Oscar the Grouch and the Olympic Diving Pools in Rio de Janeiro similar? They're both green, smell like farts, and will stay that way for 47 years."

"Never let the printer know that you are in a hurry."

"Unfortunately, this month's Psychics Club meeting is cancelled... ... due to unforeseen circumstances."

"""the pizza boy is here"" It's time, I thought, cocking my shotgun. I was sending this half pizza half man abomination straight back to hell"

"Why should've Christians chosen farts over bread? It's more fun to break wind"

"The Force Awakens could have been much shorter. All the First Order had to do to get rid of the Resistance was to use a superconductor."

"What's the Cuban national anthem? ""Row, Row, Row Your Boat..."""

"Here comes my big moment... MOMENT."

"Having intense back pain atm It's no joke"