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Joke of the Day

"- What's your cell phone? - iPhone. - No, I meant the number. - It's a 6. - No, to contact you. - I don't use it for that."

"You hear about the accident involving the mustang and the t bird? There was horse shit and feathers everywhere! My grandpa died 12 years ago this week, thought I'd share his favorite joke."

"Why do neckbeard dentists love Cats the musical? Because m'cavity."

"*drinks milkshake* *runs to yard* *sifts through all the boys* *sighs* *puts up more posters for missing son*"

"I hope the Olympics has taught kids and parents that in real life you do not get a trophy just for participating."

"When stoves die... they go to hoven. I'm^so^sorry"

"Medical prices these days are ridiculous Why, something as simple as an amputation costs an arm and a leg."

"Just been doing some DIY using my stepladder. Not my real ladder. I never knew my real ladder."

"What do Kanye West and North Korea have in common? They are both being screwed by a person named Kim."

"Men's briefs that are two sizes too big are just ""whities"" I suppose."