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Joke of the Day

"The Force Awakens could have been much shorter. All the First Order had to do to get rid of the Resistance was to use a superconductor."

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"That show Scrubs is bullshit. Not one person in this hospital joined in my song and dance number."
"You know when geese are flying in a V, one side of the V is always longer than the other one? Know why that is? Cause there's more geese on that side."
"My brother shit himself.... my mom said holy shit"
"[me and some other dude wearing the same shirt at a party] me: ""how did we both fit in this lmao"""
"What do the weather man and every other man have in common? They say it's going to be 10 inches, then end up only being 4 to 6."
"Someone asked me, ""How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?"" I responded with, ""How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you?"""
"I remember back when the media didn't have to invent names like ""polar vortex"" to tell us that it is cold during winter..."
"Why did the squirrel cross the road on the telephone wire? To be on the safe side!"
"What does an Ethiopian eat for breakfast? sand."
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