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Joke of the Day
"Q: Where does an ape sleep? A: In an apricot."
Next Joke
"I keep a banana in my pocket just in case, because I'm really not glad to see anybody."
"I can get most of Reddit to hate me in one sentence I'm watching Sword Art Online (my favorite anime) on my iPhone while reading a Minions fanfic on my Wii U and eating bananas dipped in ketchup"
"What does a physics cow say? "
"There's only one problem where tears are the solution... and that's forgetting to pack your contact lens cleaner."
"Adult: Someone who has stopped growing at both ends and now grows in the middle."
"Why did the lady go out doors with her purse open? Because she expected some change in the weather."
"Girl I like keeps putting me in the ""dad zone"" Good thing this weekend is Father's Day."
"btw I learned this tonight: DO NOT image search ""scrotum"" because people only post pictures using a medical name if there's something wrong"
"According to rom coms, I haven't met the perfect guy because I've never chased an important paper down the block in a gust of wind."