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Joke of the Day

"I can get most of Reddit to hate me in one sentence I'm watching Sword Art Online (my favorite anime) on my iPhone while reading a Minions fanfic on my Wii U and eating bananas dipped in ketchup"

"Guys, did you know that as long as you say ""great hit"" or ""great catch"" you can touch another straight guy's butt an it's not even weird?"

"My dog's got no ""O""s. - How does it spell? - ""dg""."

"My wife got a restraining order against me. I love it when she plays hard to get."

"Why did the redneck drive his pickup truck over the edge of a cliff? -- He wanted to test out his new air brakes."

"Hipster: Check out my mini.. Me: *snatches and eats Hipster:.. Bonsai tree Me: *swallows* It's alright for a veggie Hipster: Me: anymore?"

"I am proud to annouce my discovery of Forrest Fenn's Treasure!!! It took SO long. Now I must follow the clues and locate the box."

"One more glass of wine and my ""only a lesbian from the waist up"" rule is about to go out the window."

"Q: What do Roseanne Barr and a battleship have in common? ... A: They both need three tugs to get into their slips."

"Did you hear about the French chef who committed suicide? He lost the huile d'olive"