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Joke of the Day
"Forgot to do laundry again. I bet everyone at work is going to love my prom dress."
Next Joke
"My diet this week consisted of 6 cheat days"
"How many ants does it take to rent a house? Ten ants. ^lol"
"How do you know if a Chinese person robs your house? Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later, the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway."
"[Water cooler] -Looks like you had a wild weekend! How'd you get the scratches? *flash back to me bathing my cat* -Uh, this chick bro. Yeah."
"Is that really your rectal temperature? Nah, I just pulled it out of my ass."
"Movie pitch: There's this guy named Craig that makes a list of Jews he can save from Naz... what?"
"The Native Americans used to trust the white man, now they have their reservations."
"I like my Thanksgiving turkey like I like my own ass On the dining room table, with my family gathered round, and with my grandmum's fists in it pulling out the stuffing."
"What time does a mechanic wake up? Oily!"