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Joke of the Day

"A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. What type of veteran is he? A seasoned veteran."

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"Remember: if the Pilgrims had shot a bobcat instead of a turkey, we'd all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving ..."
"What's a feminist's least favorite food? Gender rolls"
"People say I'm a plagiarist Their word, not mine"
"I like my coffee how I like my employees Free and Black (I know this joke is around but I feel like this is the best wording) Don't downvote because it's racist, it's still a joke"
"A man phones work and says ""Sorry, but I can't come in today, I'm really sick."" The boss asks, ""How sick are you?"" ""Well..."" the man replies ""I'm in bed with my mother."""
"What's the difference between a kidney bean and a chickpea? I've never had a kidney bean on my face."
"Why do drug dealers love Muslims? Because they are always stoned."
"In All Fairness To Bellichick and Brady Balls do shrink when it's cold"
"What's the difference between a Redditor and an egg? Eggs get laid only once"