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Joke of the Day

"Mom: Why is your room always so... Mom: Why is your room always so messy? Me: So that if someone comes in and tries to kill me, they'll trip over something and die."

"""That goddamn janitor drew a dick on the chalkboard again!"" (Bad Will Hunting.)"

"By the power vested in me by my credit card, I now pronounce you my new fluffy hat. You may now hug my head."

"Do you know why the USSR fell nearly overnight? Because they stopped Stalin and were Russian!"

"I like my Presidents like I like my porn saved"

"*approaches drive-thru window on a camel* ""Sir, here's your 17 big macs and a large milkshake."" May I please have a straw? *camel collapses*"

"What do you call a German singalong? Follow the lieder!"

"What do call a potato that knows martial arts? Jacket Chan"

"The Conjuring 3: Evil spirits torment another single mom & her kids. The kids torment them back. They're better at it. The spirits flee."

"10 Money Saving Tips (Joke) http://travelmediacafe.com/2014/11/18/10-money-saving-tips/"