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Joke of the Day

"There are two key principles in life One of them is not saying everything you know"

"He said there was no spark between us, so I tazed him. I'll ask again when he wakes up."

"Why couldn't little Johnny get the toy he saw on TV? His parents weren't 18 or older."

"Never ever... Never trust a midget that tells you your wife's hair smells nice."

"From a Christmas Cracker: What did the puppy say when it sat on sandpaper? Ruff"

"Q: How many Screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The bulbs IN and it's staying IN!"

"What do you call the hairiest man in the camp? Jewbacca"

"A priest checks into a hotel... says to the clerk, ""I assume the porn is disabled."" Clerk says, ""No! It's just regular porn you sick freak!"""

"Little boy: ""daddy, I want to be a Men's Rights Activist when I grow up"" Dad: son, don't grow up to be an irritating wuss"

"What do hard-working grocery store clerks get every year? A celery increase."