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Joke of the Day

"What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today? He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, ""Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"""

"Mermaids: Can't live with them, can't beat them in a potato sack race."

"Just beat Eminem 4000 straight times at musical chairs by playing ""The Real Slim Shady"" over and over."

"Just waiting to hear those three special words... ""there's no evidence."""

"So.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra..."

"""This went straight to my junk mail for some reason"" = ""I'm lying to you for some reason"""

"Why did the privileged white guy fail his algebra test? He didn't know enough about inequalities"

"We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control."

"I bought the wife a new bag for her birthday..... Hoover works a treat now!"

"Sometimes people say I look like Owen Wilson, and I always say the same thing to them Wooow, You're crazier than a road lizard."