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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst thing about a September harvest? Finding a plane in your field."

"Now, if we could only get some white smoke to come out of the White House's chimney."

"Being a fat guy at McDonald's is like being the muscle guy at the gym. People stay out of your way cause they know you mean business"

"The paraplegic would be easy to oppress They would never make a stand for their rights"

"The future, past and present walk into a bar... Things get tense."

"I've been sleeping with my maid for the past 3 years. Just don't tell me wife, she hates it when I call her that."

"A blonde's boyfriend dies after choking She tried calling 911 but couldn't find the eleven."

"Talking too much is a sign of insecurity. So is keeping too quiet. So is breathing and having been born a human."

"TIM: how are you? ME: it's Monday TIM: yeah ME: the sun is up TIM: are u just listing facts? ME: lettuce is a member of the sunflower family"

"So, two muffins are sitting in an oven.... So two muffins are sitting in an oven and one says to the other, ""Man, its hot in here."" The other muffin replied, ""OH MY GOSH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"""