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Joke of the Day

"A farmer was worried when he counted only 196 cows... ...but when he rounded them up, much to his relief, he had 200."

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"Hangry A state of anger caused by lack of food. May evoke negative change in emotional state. Translation: feed me or i'll cut you"
"Knock, Knock Knock, Penny?"
"When someone describes themselves as a ""foodie"" I automatically assume they shit a lot."
"Why does a German always have the last laugh? He has to wait for the verb."
"Where do bears go after smoking some weed? Hibearnation"
"I'll bet Petr Pan lives in Nether Netherland."
"Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists."
"My son asked me what it's like to be a parent so I woke him up at 3 a.m. to let him know that I couldn't sleep."
"Luke got Darth Vader a Christmas Present. Darth Vader: Luke... I know what you got me for Christmas... Luke: Nooo! No! No!! How could you possibly know?!?! Darth Vader: I felt your presents."