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Joke of the Day

"How did the tiger escape from the zoo without being spotted? Tigers have stripes."

"What is called when an insurance company assesses a totaled car? An auto-topsy"

"Little known fact: If you ride any animal in the zoo for more than 30 seconds... it's yours to keep."

"Did you hear about the neutron who was arrested? He was held without charge."

"I'd read a book written by the person who pushes the room service cart into people's hotel rooms."

"The local pedophile claims he got a perfect score on his SAT back in the day. Said it was as easy as giving candy to a baby."

"What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair"

"My wife didn't believe me when I told her I'd built a car out of spaghetti, penne and tortellini... ......You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta."

"How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. 1 to screw it in and 2 to talk about how much better Neil Peart could've done it"