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Joke of the Day
"When pearl jam comes on and you're like... It doesn't get Eddie Vedder than this"
Next Joke
"""nooooooo!!!"" - 20 yr old me seeing how much weed 35 yr old me brushes onto the floor to get ready for company"
"An old one. What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes? A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile."
"My nipples are sore but I know I don't have a baby in the oven because I took the baby out when I had to put the pot roast in."
"Saturn Undefeated Solar system Hula Hoop champ!"
"What goes up and never comes down? Your age!"
"Which element of the Periodic Table is the poorest? Antimony. ^I'm ^so ^sorry..."
"Did you ever ask your parents what went wrong, people named Lasagna?"
"How many idiots does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penis."
"Are you going to buy something this time? Or are you ""just curious""? Let's just say I'm buy-curious."