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Joke of the Day

"I've had a shitty week. I either want to curl up in the fetal position or the fecal position."

"My GF passed away... and I wake up every day with mourning wood now."

"Why was yellow angry at red? Red blue green."

"How do you get three old ladies to say the ""F"" word? Yell ""BINGO!"""

"My girlfriend HATES it when I sneak up on her. According to her lawyer she also hates it when I call her my girlfriend ( ._.)"

"Dentist: ""You need a crown."" - Patient: ""Finally someone who understands me"""

"I brought my son a refrigerator for his birthday I just can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it!"

"Why was the Egyptian boy confused? His daddy was really a mummy."

"I'm not saying Ellen Pao is Hitler but.. I haven't seen the two of them in the same room.."

"Did you hear about the mass shooting at the thrift shop? The killer was said to be goodwill hunting."