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Joke of the Day

"Why do men carry condoms instead of women? Because by the time women found a condom in their purses, kid would be 3 years old"

"Just bought lean chicken breasts instead of hot wings for supper because I'm a stupid fucking mature adult."

"What must a vampire earn to learn to fly? His red wings."

"I like that CNN is tweeting a picture of ebola bacteria. It will be handy in case I encounter it in the wild. With my microscope vision."

"How does every racist joke start? with a look over your shoulder"

"Quit blaming your iPhone. You meant to say ""furbenglurbrn."""

"What do you call a black man on the moon? An Astronaut you fucking racist."

"Ever since I took geometry at school, my life has turned around 360 degrees."

"I've just bought a car that parks itself. Oh really? And where it is? I have no fucking idea."

"So a blind man walked into a bar.. It really hurt"