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Joke of the Day

"3 y/o: I want a bagel Me: We don't have any 3 y/o: You're a idiot Me: How did you survive your abortion"

"Why did the melon insist on having a big wedding? Because it cantaloupe."

"In light of the recent Taylor Swift & Tom Hiddleston news. I believe they shouldn't have let slip they are dating and kept it Loki (Joke above)"

"Why were the ancient Greeks considered so brave on the battlefield? They didn't want to leave their brothers behind."

"How do you kill an Argentinian? Take him to the top of his ego and throw him off."

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He wiped."

"Where did the coffee bean find his soul mate? Grinder (Thanks, Ellen)"

"Batman doesn't kill. Wayne Enterprises is a defense contractor. Guy is conflicted about the wrong things."

"A gay deer walks into a bar After a long night he comes stumbling out and says, ""I can't believe I just blew 50 bucks in there"""

"Now that Harriet Tubman is on the $20... Is it only worth $12?"