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Joke of the Day

"Can you imagine life without women? It would be a pain in the ass."

"What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest? A suicide vest actually accomplishes something after it's triggered."

"You know how you keep an asshole in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!"

"""You know how everyone's favorite part of the sandwich is the meat well what if we added an extra slice of bread?"" Inventor of club sandwich"

"Mexican Word of the Day... Ebola ""Today he went bowling and ebola perfect game!"""

"I hate it when people make eye puns... It really makes me *lash* out sometimes"

"Me: If you take them out of their natural habitat they seek revenge by burning your tounge Sis: M: S: That's a pizza roll. You're high"

"42 percent of statistics are made up!"

"Oil If: Peanut oil is made from peanuts. Olive oil is made from olives. Corn oil is made from corn. Then: What is baby oil made from?"

"Have you heard how busy the Samsung customer care lines are? Their phones are blowin' up!"