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Joke of the Day

"42 percent of statistics are made up!"

"Why did Snow White buy an android phone? She thought the apple was poisoned."

"1. Sit in stall of a crowded bathroom. 2. Whisper, ""Oh no, not again..."" 3. Slowly pour a large bucket of milk onto the floor."

"If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex to move back in. That would be the longest 3 months of my life."

"You're really limiting yourself if you think sexual harassment is the only way to make your coworkers uncomfortable"

"Life's like a bird, it's pretty cute until it shits on your head."

"What is the quickest way to get Trump out of The White House?? Put Monica Lewinsky in there. She's not the hero we deserve, but she'd be da real MVP we need right now."

"If the wrong women weren't so tempting, then I'd probably be married to the right one by now. @MaleHonesty86"

"What does it take to break a Nokia phone? Microsoft."

"I've fallen in love with a fellow ventriloquist's doll. But she's already spoken for."