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Joke of the Day

"She called and said she didn't have anywhere else to go, so I agreed with her."

"So a horse comes into a bar... wait crap, I meant a guy... So this horse cums in to a guy (credit to cyanide and happiness)"

"What are Turkish cattle best known for? Mootiny."

"I still say a wasp's nest chucked through the window would be the ideal way to end any hostage situation. Nobody's hanging around in there."

"Daddy, where do bananas come from? Well son, when a manana and a womanana really love each other..."

"I used to be a police officer... A guy came up to me when I was patrolling a street and asked if he could urinate between my wrist and elbow. I said ""Not on my watch."""

"Why Did Princess Diana Cross The Street? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt"

"what do men with erectile disfunction and nintendo cartridges have in common? It works if you blow it before you put it in."

"TWITTER REHAB IS GOING GOOD YOU GUYS I GOT A NEW FRIEND HE HAS SPECIAL SUGAR AND IT'S AWESOME AND MY YARD HAS 3,957,268 BLADES OF GRASS!!!!"

"Why is Ironman a superhero? and Ironwoman a command?"