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Joke of the Day

"A girl phoned me the other day and said ""Come on over, there's nobody home."" I went over. Nobody was home"

"The 12 Days of Christmas reads like the amazon wish list of someone tripping balls"

"Two guys see a dog licking his balls... The first guy says ""Man, I wish I could do that!"" The second guy replies, ""Maybe you should try petting him first"""

"What's the hardest thing about skateboarding? Telling your parents you're gay."

"I know a mathematician who can't afford lunch. He can binomial."

"listen, officer - t h e o r e t i c a l l y - would I still get a carpool lane ticket if I have a body in the trunk"

"Who Is every lumberjack's favourite director? TIMBURRRTON!"

"What would a piggy-bank say if it could talk? Coink! Coink!"

"A cow with no voice is thrown into a black hole An immoovable object meets an unstoppable force."

"Dermatologist asked why I want my tattoo removed and looked at me like no one's ever said ""because it's my ex's Twitter handle"" before."