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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: You look tired. Did you not get enough sleep last night? Me: Nope. Slept great! But thanks for telling me I look like shit."

"Two elephants are in a bath tub One asks the other ""Pass the soap"". The other one replies, ""No soap, Radio!"""

"Guys, don't let this headphones thing mislead you, women that aren't wearing them probably don't want to talk to you either"

"For Halloween I'm just gonna talk shit to complete strangers and go as the internet."

"I don't know what to do when someone yells stop Is it hammer time? Is it in the name of love? Do I collaborate and listen?"

"Sometimes when your sad, no one cares. Sometimes when you cry, no one sees. Sometimes when you leave no one notices. But fart just one time."

"GUY FIERI: ""Just saying, I'm open all week if anybody requests me."" MAKE-A-WISH FOUNDATION OPERATOR: ""Stop fucking calling."""

"Teacher: We're going to need you to work with your daughter on humility. Me: I was never good with weather stuff but I'll give it a shot."

"ASKHOLE: A person who constantly ask for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them"

"What do you call a dog with no legs It doesn't matter. He won't come anyway."