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Joke of the Day
"Me: Be back after lunch! Boss: OK Me: *texts boss APRIL FOOLS LOL* *goes home, turns on baseball*"
Next Joke
"My long-term goal is to change the world, so I step on a lot of butterflies."
"Me: We do *not* spit on our classmates! 5YO: Well, who DO we spit on, then? I miss the funny stuff my kids said when they were little."
"How does a person from New Zealand find a sheep in tall grass? Very satisfying."
"MILEY Y U NO PARTY IN OTHER COUNTRY?"
"girl: tough guys are hot Me: *hawk lands on my bare arm* I have a gauntlet I just never use it *hawk gnawing on my shoulder* I love this"
"So Katie Holmes is divorcing Tom Cruise... Apparently she found out that he'd been in A Few Good Men."
"I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She cried & then she hugged me."
"An Englishman starts his own business in Afganistan He is making land mines that look like prayer mats! He is doing quite well! Profits are going through the roof!"
"What does Bill Say to Hillary after Sex? Honey I'll be Home in 20 minutes."