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Joke of the Day
"My long-term goal is to change the world, so I step on a lot of butterflies."
Next Joke
"FITBIT: You've done 11k steps today. ME: Ok, I'll rest some. FITBIT: stop now and I'll murder you ME: What? FITBIT: I SAID GOOD FOR YOU!"
"Any golf jokes? Was hoping you guys would have a few golf jokes for when I play my first game tomorrow. From PG to R rated is fine with me ;)"
"What's the worst thing about Fridays? Realizing it's only Tuesday."
"What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens? Caesar salad"
"Why is the apostrophe always near an ""s""? Because it is possessive"
"I told my doctor I was addicted to Twitter He said ""I don't follow you"""
"Ground control to Kerbal III, how willing would you be to share your proximity to the equator? We have zero inclination."
"I pronounce CHampagne & CHandelier like CHimp so the lower class thinks I'm ""approachable"" & the upper class thinks I'm ""eclectic"""
"What soft drink do pigs like best? Root beer."