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Joke of the Day

"What's the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a tree? My dick."

"I fucked an Asian in an elevator. It was Wong on so many levels."

"The free sample lady just asked if I'd like to try some slow roasted pork loin and then did a hip thrust at me."

"Im having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... alright by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?"

"Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken."

"Wearing a pretty new bra today that nobody else is gonna see, so everytime I go to the bathroom, I flash myself in the mirror."

"A crazed fan attacked Miley Cyrus at a recent concert. Damn, I would have LOVED to have seen the look on her gums."

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy? He was too far out, man."

"You've got to hand it to midgets Because they cant reach it themselves"

"Intensive care toddler One of the toddlers on the Intensive Care Unit is playing with a toy donkey. ICU baby, shaking that ass..."