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Joke of the Day

"A 40 year-old man is walking into some dark woods with an 8 year-old girl... ...the girl says, ""These woods are scary!"" The man says, ""How do you think I feel? I have to walk out all by myself!"""

"[@ Sunbeam Bread factory job interview] Boss: Your resume says you are ""definitely not 3 ducks in a suit."" 3 Ducks In A Suit: That's correct"

"What do sea mammals say when something happens against their kind? Oh, the huge-manatee"

"My girlfriend hates it when I sneak up on her. Also the police say I should stop referring to her as my girlfriend."

"How do you know your GF is getting fat? She starts fitting in your wife's clothes..."

"At a job interview: Interviewer: What are some of your weaknesses? Applicant: I'm lazy I: that's it? A: I'm lazy to list them all..."

"Nothing says ""I enjoyed the taste of paste, fingerpaint, and crayons in first grade"" more than a potato chip bag opened from the bottom."

"Self Detonation is a real blast.. Or so I've heard.. C4 yourself."

"Bruce Lee's favorite drink Wataaaaa!!!"

"Why is star wars the most disgusting movie? Because its the most grossing."