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Joke of the Day
"Self Detonation is a real blast.. Or so I've heard.. C4 yourself."
Next Joke
"What's an STD's favorite kind of pizza? Heperoni"
"""I'm a skeleton!"" *kisses and hugs you* Stop that! *kisses and hugs you again* What kind of skeleton are you?!? ""An XO skeleton"""
"If you want someone to like you never text first. If they text you then don't text back. Never, ever talk. It's the only way to make it work"
"Two condoms walk past a gay bar... One looks to the other and says ""let's get shit faced"""
"If breaking a mirror is 7 years bad luck then breaking a condom is 18, right?"
"I don't play guitar, but I sure would pluck your G-string."
"I bet the worst part about being a birthday cake is when you're set on fire, and then eaten by the hero that saved you."
"I should rename my Reddit account to Digiorno... Because as OP I never deliver"
"I spent the entire day throwing darts at a picture of my wife. *wife phones* Wife: What you doing? Husband: Missing you."