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Joke of the Day

"The little bit of decent human being left in me finds cannibalism to be wrong... but who cares, he was delicious!"

"You're so fat... you had a threesome with Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Buttersworth."

"What is Whitney Houston's best kind of coordination? Hand EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEE"

"Why are gingers' feet so rough? Because they have no soles"

"Beauty is only skin deep ...but ugly goes all the way to the bone!"

"Gf: come over Me: can't, playing the new call of duty Gf: my parents are out of town Me: you're 30 years old, grow up"

"How many times can look at the sun with a telescope? You can do this twice. One time with you right eye and one with your left!"

"Fun Fact: If you lie down in an aisle at Walmart for a couple hours, they will tag you and put you in a clearance bin."

"Pope John Paul is being sainted. What a snub to Pope George Ringo."

"What do snakes write on the bottom of their letters? With love and hisses."