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Joke of the Day

"Gf: come over Me: can't, playing the new call of duty Gf: my parents are out of town Me: you're 30 years old, grow up"

"Steven Hawking walks into a bar... Just kidding."

"Check it out on Netflix There's this new docu-series about religion in professional sports. The first episode is titled *Bindi Like Beckham*"

"Girl are you a ringtone? Because you're really annoying and just get louder when I ignore you."

"What do you call a fuzzy philosopher? BEARistotle I'm so sorry"

"What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large."

"A giraffe walks into a bar, he sits and orders 6 martinis........ Shame on you for wanting a punchline. This giraffe needs help."

"Mexican and Black Jokes are ALL the same... Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal."

"What do you call a dumb nerd? A geek."

"PSA: IF YOU RECEIVE AN EMAIL SAYING, ""You've won two free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert!"" DO NOT OPEN IT. It contains two tickets to a Justin Bieber concert."