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Joke of the Day

"If buttered toast always lands buttered side down and a cat always lands on its feet what would happen if you tied a pice of buttered toast on the back of a cat and dropped it?"

"What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four year old? Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out the window"

"How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That's a hardware problem!"

"Why do men give their penises names? Because they don't want a total stranger making 90% of their decisions."

"Funny Comeback Dad: you better pass your exam or else forget me as your father! son: ..... son: sure, whatever dad. FIVE HOURS LATER Dad: so how was your exam? Son: who the hell are you?"

"I updated my drivers on my laptop and now I have all kinds of pop ups...thanks Microsoft!"

"I said ""sad face emoji"" instead of actually frowning today if you want to know how out of touch with reality I am."

"The last person who bought golden oreos at my Neighborhood's Walgreens and realized there was an entire row missing. I'm so sorry.."

"Our carbon monoxide detector keeps beeping and waking me up from my nap."

"My rap name is When i$ Lunch"