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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between HP computers and HP in a video game? One of them you want to see a lot less of."

"Yo' mama is so classless She could be a Marxist Utopia"

"*filming the Buick commercial with Matthew McConaughey* ""the leather keeps sticking to my back"" ""for the last time Matt keep ur shirt on"""

"I used to listen to old Mitch Hedberg recordings.. I still do, I just used to too."

"""Dumb as a bag of hammers"" is kind of a stupid comparison because it's actually quite a clever way to carry several hammers at once."

"Two atoms are talking: ""Help, somebody has stolen one of my electrons!"" ""Are you sure?"" ""Yes, I'm positive!"""

"Two men of African American descent are standing on the edge of a dock, peeing into the lake. The first man says, ""Water's cold today huh?"" The second one replies, ""Yeah...and deep too."""

"What do you call an older man who goes after young boys? Nittany Lions"

"What is called a honeymoon salad? Lettuce alone with no dressing."

"Your dad is a motherfucker"