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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between HP computers and HP in a video game? One of them you want to see a lot less of."

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"I finally figured out what I want to be when I'm older... younger."
"One tub of crisco. One body pillow. One box of condoms. One cashier. One wink. One awkward moment."
"So i found a new clickbait technique. So did you."
"911: 911. What's your emergency? Me: I'm bleeding profusely. 911: Sir, this line is reserved for joke formats. Me: ..."
"A DJ that's a cat! So cute! But you know what's not cute? *clicks to next slide* Our reliance on rapidly depleting fossil fuels."
"I was walking down the road... ...when the guy in front of me turned around and started throwing milk, eggs, yoghurt and butter at me. I thought, ""How dairy!""."
"What does batman call his dick? Robin/Nightwing - depends how big it is"
"Really Smooth. I lied told my dad that school was canceled. He said,"" lets go see a movie."" We got in the car and he dropped me off at school."
"[hospital] ""We found the problem. There's an entire sheep in your stomach."" ""Is that bahahaad?"" ""Yes. It's causing some internal bleating."""