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Joke of the Day

"Q: What did one ocean say to the other ocean? A: Nothing, they just waved."

"What do call a disgraceful Asian Nothing they're not your child anymore"

"A mathematical limerick A dozen, a gross, and a score Plus three times the square root of four Divided by seven Plus five times eleven Is nine squared and not a bit more."

"""Knock Knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Grandpa"" ""Wait, STOP THE FUNERAL!"""

"The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain."

"I haven't bought an iPhone with Siri yet because I have a fear of talking to women."

"Ever get the feeling someone is watching you when you sleep? Yeah, sorry about that."

"Her: I'm pregnant Me: WHAT? H: Just kidding M: You scared me half to death H: My mom is coming to stay with us M: *the other half dies*"

"My wife called me a child. I told her, be careful who you're calling a child because if I'm a child, that makes you a pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit here and get lectured by a pervert."

"If I were Hillary, I'd ask Michelle Obama to stay on as first lady."