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Joke of the Day

"There needs to be a universal hand signal to let people know they still have their blinker on. Mouthing ""you're dead asshole"" isn't working."

"Did you hear about the old chameleon that couldn't change color? He had *a reptile dysfunction*."

"Last night... ...as I was lying in bed, I looked up at the beautiful night sky, the beautiful moon, and the beautiful stars. Then I wondered: where the fuck is my roof?"

"Why do Jews try avoiding Jewpiter? Because its a gas planet! Its also why Hitlers gas bills were so high. *i intentionally said Jewpiter instead of Jupiter*"

"What do a moped and a fat chick have in common? Both are fun to ride but you'd never want your friend to catch you on one."

"My dog's frightened to walk across shiny floors and won't eat dog food unless I heat it up. I have a feeling he'd be a flop out in nature."

"Your mother is so fat... ...even whilst fucking her it feels like a long-distance relationship."

"What are Mario's overalls made of? denim denim denim (pronounced with the Mario underground theme)"

"What's the difference between a rooster and your mom? A rooster says, ""cockadoodledoo"". Your mom says, ""anycockwilldoo""."

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? You suck his dick."