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Joke of the Day
"Your mother is so fat... ...even whilst fucking her it feels like a long-distance relationship."
Next Joke
"""What's that?"" A divorce jar. Every time we fight you put a dollar in and I'm a little bit closer to freedom. *puts in dollar* ""WTH!?!"""
"If women are looking for a strong man who makes them laugh.. then they are looking for something like a ninja clown."
"Someone told me Trump is in bed with Russia. And that someone is Putin it in."
"what does a sneeze see after it dies sneezus"
"[i fall down the stairs & break my back] Me: Siri, call me 911 Siri: okay.. I will call you 911 from now on Me: haha nice Siri: thanks 911"
"""I'm smart. Everyone else is stupid"" - everyone"
"Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy .... .... I hear you ask."
"Two foot fetishists are sitting in the back of a police van. One turns to the other says: ""I think we got off on the wrong foot."""
"Why should you serve Eggs Benedict on shiny metal dishes? Because there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."