188856

Joke of the Day

"Last night... ...as I was lying in bed, I looked up at the beautiful night sky, the beautiful moon, and the beautiful stars. Then I wondered: where the fuck is my roof?"

Next Joke
 
"What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar."
"Two guys are having sex with a nun. One guy looks at the other, ""what are you doing?"" ""nun, what about you?"" ""nun."""
"Anteater Kid: What's for dinner? Anteater Mom: Don't be a smart ass, Brandon."
"When I broke my back the doctor said I had to start sitting down to pee... Because I'm not allowed to lift anything over 25 pounds."
"Baby are you an iphone encryption? Because I want to go through your backdoor"
"No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery."
"I'm working on inventing an electronic Ouija board so that I can keep tweeting after I die."
"If you're American & I ever hear you use the word ""whilst,"" this I swear: you will not live to see the 3rd season of Sherlock."
"The nsa Because they are a fucking joke"