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Joke of the Day

"Last night... ...as I was lying in bed, I looked up at the beautiful night sky, the beautiful moon, and the beautiful stars. Then I wondered: where the fuck is my roof?"

"A repost walks into a bar"

"How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. But it takes about 8-10 visits."

"What do you call a gay rock. A fruity pebble."

"I think sitting on an airplane is the most exhausting type of sitting."

"My friends accused me of making jokes about David Bowie I said ""Oh no, not me"""

"Why are Russians so heartless? Because organ traders offer good price."

"I hope people think my toddler has a slight English accent bc we're so cultured and not bc she's basically been raised by Peppa Pig"

"What did the sadist do to the masochist? nothing."

"Hi I was calling about the $300/hour part time job I read about in a sexy ad I saw on an illegal torrent site. Are you guys still hiring?"