172469

Joke of the Day

"Sorry, cancer kids. Our prayers are going elsewhere. RT @KimKardashian: So scared I'm not gonna make my flight to Australia! Pray I make it!"

"I heard Apple is trying to develop a new car. But they're having trouble installing windows."

"Co-worker: ""If you love something, set it free, if it comes back it's yours to k.."" Me - ""THOSE ARE BOOMERANGS, MICHELLE."""

"*downloads Pinterest *pins tutorial on how to uninstall Pinterest *uninstalls"

"TIL how to keep an idiot waiting I'll let you know tomorrow."

"How do you know it's midnight at the Neverland Ranch? The big hand's touching the little hand."

"What do you call an online correspondence with a transvestite? She-mail."

"I'm not racist... I have a color TV!"

"LPT - If your phone gets wet, put it in a bag of uncooked rice overnight. The rice will attract Asian people who will then fix your phone. Tried, tested, true"

"How do you get ""Dick"" from ""Richard""? You ask him nicely"