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Joke of the Day

"Co-worker: ""If you love something, set it free, if it comes back it's yours to k.."" Me - ""THOSE ARE BOOMERANGS, MICHELLE."""

"What animal do I respect most? The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them."

"Restraining order Why did Mary get a restraining order against Black Beard the Pirate? He kept trying to plunder her booty."

"What did the female mushroom say about the male mushroom? ""He's a real fun guy [fungi]."""

"I offered my Muslim girlfriend a bite of my gorilla sandwich but she shook her head and said... ""That's haram, bae."""

"I can't imagine the enormous pressure on fat black women to be sassy all the time."

"April Fools Day is ONLY for singles. The married have their anniversary ."

"Why was Herbert Hoover such a controversial president? Because he never let the dust settle."

"Hackgate: Patriots hacked Seattle headsets and knew they were going to throw the ball."

"They say 1 minute of kissing burns 26 calories. No wonder sluts are so damn skinny."