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Joke of the Day

"I took my kids to the zoo to see exotic cats, but we couldn't find the ocelots I think we just got ocelost."

"My wife can't stand to be around me ever since I retired from voicing Winnie-the-Pooh She says I am becoming unbearable."

"A flea jumped over the swinging doors of a saloon drank three whiskeys and jumped out again. He picked himself up from the dirt dusted himself down and said ""OK who moved my dog?"""

"Did you hear about the new HBO series that investigates gambling in sports? It's called Thrown Games."

"I heard my son's girlfriend screaming ""Oh God!"" in his bedroom upstairs ... Im so glad he found a good religious girl."

"How do you brainwash a liberal? Give him an enema"

"Why do girls NOT like Jesus? NSFW Because every time he gets nailed it takes him 3 days to get it back up again."

"What does a gay Kraken eat? *Seamen*"

"Why can't a lesbian diet and wear make up at the same time? Because..........It is hard to eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on her face."

"Why are power tools good for bank robberies? They know the drill."