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Joke of the Day
"Why are power tools good for bank robberies? They know the drill."
Next Joke
"Our son came home one day with a note from his first grade teacher: Your son bit another boy today. Is he getting enough to eat at home ?"
"Those a-hole guys on ""Teen Mom"" don't think being a dad is ""cool."" Well check me out #Responsibility never looked so ""swag! "" lol"
"Nothing makes me more nervous than receiving Facebook notifications after a weekend of drinking that says ""you have been tagged in a photo"""
"Why is Bruce Lee so good at telling jokes? Because if his punch line doesn't work, you still get a kick out of it."
"Twins Yesterday, I was hanging out with my girlfriend when her identical twin sister walked by. Then my girlfriend asked me, ""Do you think my sister is pretty?"""
"My business card is just a moist slice of cantaloupe."
"What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter? A cock that sticks to roof of your mouth..."
"On the news: there's a shortage of maternity-ward staff. You could say it's a bit of a...*looks away* *mumbles* MIDWIFE crisis! (...sorry.)"
"the good news is the doctor says I'm healthy as a horse, the bad news is she still uses large farm animals to describe me...."