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Joke of the Day
"Two words:"
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"Guy behind me at a concert recording with his iPad was pissed when I held up my 40"" monitor that was hooked to my laptop, blocking his view"
"""I'm sorry"" and ""I apologize"" generally mean the same thing... ...except at funerals."
"I've never considered myself a social butterfly. More like a social wasp. People run away a lot."
"Art Teacher: your drawings are due tomorrow me: [hours later] maybe add in some grapes police sketch artist: ..a bowl of fruit attacked you?"
"I like my women like Hawaii... Warm, wet, and Asian."
"Scared the postman by going to the door naked. I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived."
"Johnny's mother called his father at work... ""Johnny just swallowed a nickle and spit up two dimes, what do I do??"" ""Keep feeding him nickles!"""
"What does Freud like to do with his mum Oedipussy"
"How is a woman like a bar? Liquor in the front, poker in the back ( )"