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Joke of the Day

"Stay safe out there on New Years Eve Who am I kidding, I'm talking to Redditors."

"ME: I wish I could just go back to the good old day FRIEND: don't you mean good old days? ME: no, I just had the one"

"People complain about Facebook privacy settings, but I'm still standing 5 inches away from the guy in the urinal next to me."

"Why did the peasant have poor judgement? He couldn't afford better judgement I'll be here all day folks"

"7yo: I'M REALLY MAD AT YOU MOMMA SO I'M GOING TO BED EARLY Me: OH NO. NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT"

"Where did Robin Williams go after he died? To the Mork."

"What's a dank memer's favorite letter? 'A' lmao"

"A saxophone is like a lawsuit. Everyone is happy when the case is closed."

"Jesus take the wheel Carlos you take the stereo, and Roberto, you take lookout."

"If you have rectal cancer and it's treated with radiation therapy... Is that a Rem job?"