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Joke of the Day

"Tonight I realized that I gaze at cheese in much the same way that first time mothers gaze at their newborns"

"Did you hear the joke about the Irish city? You'll be Dublin over in laughter when you do."

"Someone talked to me today about having two X chromosomes. Typical woman."

"Only when a mosquito lands on your balls do you realize That violence is not always the option"

"What porn do sea animals watch? Prawnography"

"Why do Americans weight lift in tank tops? Because they like to exercise their right to bare arms."

"God will never give you more than you can handle, unless you were born in the wrong place or don't have money. That makes God super mad."

"Two scientists walk into a bar The first scientist orders H2O. The second scientist says ""Who the hell goes to a bar and orders water?"""

"I asked the barista for a Nyquilatte. He was really hairy, like a werewolf. A ""wereista"" if you will. I may have already had some Nyquil."

"Me: Your cat looks pregnant Friend: Impossible it's an indoor cat Me: What have you done"